L3Harris Village to be upgraded into L4Harris Village

Editors note* this story is satire, not a story based on true events.

MELBOURNE - Aerospace defense company L3Harris announced on Monday that it would be expanding its sponsorship of Florida Tech to construct a fourth apartment building in the campus’s L3Harris Village.

The new building will be called Building D, with its trendy name a reference to the beloved “Daleks” from “Doctor Who”. The addition of a fourth building will accommodate 127.33 more sophomore through senior students. 

“My wife’s pregnant, and with a kid on the way, I wanted to really give back to the community,” company owner Larry Harris III wrote in an email.

Though the rebranding of the company and the associated residential block into L4Harris was an internal matter, the new building was named via a poll where students could choose between a number of science-fiction-inspired names.

“Building D” narrowly beat out “A New Hope”, with “The Emperor’s Sword” (from the writings of Tamsyn Muir) trailing behind, among other shibboleths in the runnings.

 L4Harris head of communications John Shi appeared in a video to announce the new name and the company’s plans for expanding Harris Village.

“All thanks to Harris’ generosity, we’ll even be sponsoring the Building D Scholar Award. It’ll be a full ride and guarantee you a shiny new room in the upcoming building.” Shi effused.

Florida Tech’s housing page notes that the special guest suite offered by the Building D Scholar Award will be of equal quality to that of the room from the Farmer Scholar Award, down to the stains on the mattress and the dirty sock in the closet.

L4Harris has been in contact with students to ensure the quality of the new dormitories through the poll.